Tuesday, December 06, 2005

When you write a love letter to a girl, remember the do's and don'ts

( Check HERE for Part 1 )

Part 2: Be sure to praise her physical attributes in a romantic way!
Simply said, the party of the first part must make the party of the second part feel like partying. Compliment her on her looks. Similes and metaphors are excellent but some pondering is needed. Listen to some Frank Sinatra albums for inspiration. I'd avoid hardcore rap music, referring to a girl as "My Mofo Slaphappy Bitch”! Poetry by Shelley or Shakespeare might come in handy for an alluring description.

The typical attributes are her complexion, gracefulness, beauty and charisma. The onus of getting across a romantic message rests squarely on your shoulders.
"When I saw the raven at sunlight with its neck shimmering like a rainbow, I realized how much your complexion resembles a crow!" is not the way to win her over. I'd choose ivory or sandal for allegorical references. A little lie goes a long way in romance so get the mileage.

"Something in the way you move!" is nice. I'd skip the duck and go with the swan. Sure, they both walk kind of similar but who cares? Just be politically correct. "You move gingerly like a goods train carrying heavy cargo!" is not kosher. Never try to flatter a girl on her chubbiness. The task of winning a girl's heart is Himalayan. But if you called her Himalayan, the game's over. "When I see your tushy, I get all cushy!" might draw a squeal or a grunt. It depends on what she thinks of her tushy. "You have more curves than a Kipp's apparatus!" is a line I'd avoid. Just throw in "curvaceous and vivacious" in a picturesque way. And always mention her legs and lips. How they kindle the fire in your heart or something.

All girls love praise. Start with her eyes. Say how they sparkle like silver trouts in sunny waters during the mating season. If she has dimples, say they make her cheeks look lissom and supple. Don't ask me what lissom and supple mean. No idea. But such words make a girl bat her eyelashes and giggle. Avoid comparing her breasts to the pyramids of Gaza. I'd take the ocean, the moon and the stars any day over the volcano, the Saturn and Seismic readings. Sure, your libido might spew like the volcano seething with the lava of lust. Just put a lid on it. She might cause you tremors that would read 9.0 on the Richter scale. But stick to the rules. Say that she is like a fresh breeze from the aquamarine waves of the sea. Her one look is enough to bring many moons orbiting around your planet. The memory of her alone is like a galaxy of stars, a nostalgic milkyway. That's the script. Kapish?
Now to charisma. "You have such haunting eyes that they remind me of Halloween!" is not good. Far better to say, "Your smile is so magnetic that the iron in my will gravitates towards you!" Also sneak in the word "mesmerizing" whenever possible. It works like magic. "Your glance is so mesmerizing that I see a thousand stars on the roof of my imagination!" Let her try to figure out what it means and don't dwell on it too much. You have work to do. "Spell" is another great word. "I'm in your spell like a castaway sailor marooned on your shore!" Again, don't dwell. Move on.


incognito said...

coming from a guy who wants to stay away from relationships this quite ironic dont u think!!
anyways nice one!

keerthi said...

rotfl..lm"tushy"o...nice try kk but u do know t takes more n flwery words 2 make gurls fal?oh mayb datll come in part3 eh?:D...anyhow dis 1 ws a gr8 read yaknow..but rem 1thing straight frm the master(=me)..the key word s "spontaneity",das how gurls cn b sure ur sayin t strt 4m da hrt n not outta a buk or sum gr8 persons blog:P